Single

Being single, it emerges, actually blows. Big time.

Dates are a waste of time. Actually, unless you live in Hollywood, dates are a complete misnomer once you're over 25 and clearly able to make decisions about the sort of persons you want to have sex with in a relatively short space of time.

As far as I can see, the only purpose of a "date" in 2008 is to establish a mutual agreement that, while you will have sex at some point, the fact that you can wait for a movie to finish and a meal to be eaten before making lurid proposals means that you are not a pair of total scumbags. This is called "respect".

Alternatively, as a single 27 year old, you can expect to be hit on by friends or colleagues who are already in relationships, because - well, you're just out for some fun, right?

The length of the sentences in this piece are inversely proportional to the amount of fun I am having being single.